Active listening is a listening skill, but not just ordinary listening. This skill emphasizes understanding, responding, remembering, and empathizing with the speaker. That is why active listening is a fundamental skill that every coach (mentor) must have.The opposite is passive listening, where you only listen without truly engaging or responding. Or you simply respond with “hmm”/“yes” regardless of whether you actually understand or not.
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3 Key Aspects of Active Listening
Being a good listener is not just about hearing a story; you need to read body language and manage emotional responses. You must even understand what is implied.1. Cognitive Aspect
The listener masters the cognitive aspect of communication with the speaker by paying attention to all information, both explicit and implicit. They summarize it using cognitive skills in their mind, which then forms a complete understanding of the speaker’s situation.2. Emotional Aspect
Compassion and care are part of the emotional aspect of being a good listener. The speaker may tell their story in a disorganized way, which may trigger emotional reactions such as boredom, irritation, or the urge to interrupt.However, in active listening, such emotional reactions must be controlled and not expressed. Maintain a sense of compassion and attentiveness while continuing to grasp the main thread of the speaker’s message.3. Behavioral Aspect
At the right moment, you need to demonstrate appropriate attitudes and behaviors as feedback. Your behavior determines everything—if you show the wrong response, it may lead to negative outcomes.Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg from Harvard Business School state that becoming a good listener is a lifelong effort. However, even small improvements in active listening skills can lead to significant positive changes.7 Active Listening Techniques in Coaching
Here are the basic active listening techniques used in coaching that you can also apply to develop this skill.- Make the speaker feel comfortable and safe by allowing them to finish their sentences without interruption.
- Avoid distractions that may shift your attention, such as phone notifications, checking your watch, scribbling on paper, tapping a pen, and so on.
- Use non-verbal cues to support the speaker in completing their thoughts confidently, such as nodding, a gentle smile, and maintaining eye contact.
- Remember and understand the main thread of each statement from the speaker. This is important for providing feedback later.
- Ask open-ended questions instead of closed questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no”.
- Start with statements that show empathy when giving feedback.
- Share similar stories or experiences to broaden the speaker’s perspective.
